I mean, I’m a few years away from fifty, and yes, I recall hearing when I was a child, that as I got older, time would appear to speed up. And yes, I have witnessed just that — especially after the transition from childhood to adulthood. However, the time shift that I have been feeling over the course of the last two years is something altogether more intense and different. I mean, I don’t think it’s an age-related perceptual thing. I think time is truly speeding up.
That said, I can’t believe it’s been more than four months since I last posted here. Four months and still no material change in my life, though as far as my heart is concerned, I no longer feel the same degree of blockage that I felt four months ago. I feel restored, and in that regard, though my channeling ability is still off the rails, I’m perfectly okay with that. In fact, one of the main reasons I have returned to post a message is that I have finally come to accept that it is perfectly okay with me if I never channel another message ever again. This is definitely a new mindset for me.
You see, it was difficult for me to adjust to the lost connection having had the ability to connect with spirit for eight consecutive years. What a wonderful gift that was, and to suddenly lose it, well, I passed it off as a phase that I was going through. Be patient, I told myself, and it will return. And I was patient. And I was patient some more. And then, a shift in my perspective suddenly occurred.
And I’m pretty sure I know why it happened.
About a year ago, I woke up unexpectedly in the middle of the night at my traditional 3:30 am hour and soon found myself channeling a message from The Guardians. The message is posted here.
In any event, although the message was clearly directed at me as well as others, I failed to understand why the message was directed at me. The advice that came through pertained to something that I had already done.
So, why were The Guardians urging me to do it again?
Well, rather than confronting that confusion and realizing an answer, I ignored it. And my life unfolded as it did. Then, about a week ago, I posted a link to The Guardians message on the social network, Gaia — and one of the comments I received surprised me.
You see, the woman who left the comment indicated that although she had done similar shadow work in the past, she felt the message was a reminder that the time was right to do more.
Well, if that comment didn’t cause me to stop and think (I know — that can be dangerous some times, haha).
Anyway, my thought was this:
How could I possibly think I was done with shadow work? The shadow work that I had done happened five years earlier, and I had only attempted to clear those blockages that had happened prior to the age of twenty. Yes, the process had been extremely successful. But how ridiculous was it to think that I had not collected all kinds of energy blockages since the age of twenty. I mean, we’re talking nearly another thirty years since the age of twenty!
Consequently, when the penny dropped (upon reading my Gaia friend’s comment), I decided I was finally ready to follow The Guardians’ advice. I even began to think about where to begin — what experience to dredge up from the past as a starting point — however, I wasn’t able to make any headway that day as my day was full of commitments.
Nevertheless, it was definitely my intent to begin as soon as I was able, and wouldn’t you know it, that very night I had an extremely disturbing dream — so disturbing, in fact, I cursed and swung my fists with rage when my wife tried to wake me. Thankfully though, she didn’t get hurt by my actions. I am also thankful that I awoke with total recall of the dream — and of course, surprise, surprise — it was all about a very stressful experience my wife and I endured very early in our marriage (nearly twenty years ago). In other words, the shadow work was underway — and clearly, there were blockages to be dealt with — major blockages!
In any event, once I realized I had some work ahead of me, logic began to sink in. And the logic went something like this:
Hmmm. I have been living with some serious energy blockages that need to be released, and yet, I have also been channeling messages for people — in a low alpha state — meaning, my consciousness remains very much aware of what is coming through as it comes through — meaning, my lower self, the one that is rife with energy blockages could very easily influence the channeling without my knowledge (or permission)– a very good reason why I may have lost my connection.
I mean, it suddenly seemed pretty obvious to me:
The Guardians knew it was not in my best interest or the interest of anyone else to allow me to channel. Not that my intent wasn’t to be of service and to do good work, because it definitely was. It was about the clarity and unbiased integrity of the information. So I was cut off — or, some aspect of my higher self cut me off — at least, that was my realization.
And, guess what?
The moment I accepted this as the reason I lost my connection, I felt suddenly ready to post a new message (here) for the first time in four months. I also experienced immediate movement in my external life (where previously everything was so completely and utterly stuck).
So who knows? Have I truly turned a corner of sorts?
Well, time will tell — it always does. In the meantime, I am feeling good and hopeful and positive again — for the first time in a long time — certainly since I last posted.
Thanks so much for your patience and support!
My story continues here.
(For my previous story, click here.)